?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Oh my Goddess...

Now, yeah, it's a flame war. Flame wars get ugly.

But I have to say that this is absolutely, horrifically vile.

Nine Deuce on exactly why people lose their jobs for being kinky (aren't we glad we've got her to tell us)?

Stop comparing your situation to the plight of homosexuals. And stop comparing my arguments to those of asshole homophobes. There is something to the idea that M/f BDSM fetishizes women’s oppression, and you aren’t going to take attention from that by setting up a false and easily discredited analogy.

Why are people getting fired for being into BDSM? Ever heard of sexual harassment? Talking about sex at work isn’t cool, whether you’re straight, gay, into BDSM, or celibate. It’s just not appropriate. And to be honest, if I were a parent, I’d be concerned if my child’s other parent were into BDSM because I wouldn’t want my child exposed to it. It’s absolutely ridiculous to think you ought to have the right to normalize that kind of behavior in front of children who haven’t got the critical thinking abilities to understand what’s going on.

We all know that the vast majority of child molesters are straight men, which has been shown in study after study. I’m asking the questions about BDSM because what I’ve seen on a lot of websites amounts to serious emotional and physical abuse, and because I have, whatever you guys want to claim to the contrary, read women’s writings about being upset and frightened by the treatment they receive. The fact that I’m not yet convinced that what you’re into is cool and meshes with feminism doesn’t make me dishonest, it just means that I’ve yet to be convinced that black is white and up is down.

Wow. Wow. So... kinky people get fired because they sexually harass their co-workers.

Stupendous.

I'll be sure to ask my boss exactly how turning in the reports is sexual harassment.

"Go kill yourself" was a rhetorical flourish, she says. What's this one? Any guesses?

You know, there's a reason I go by "Trinity" and such online. There's a reason only a small handful of online friends know my real name.

News flash: It's not because I like the names.

Wow.

I'm... stunned.

And done with this person, I think. That kind of cruelty doesn't come from people who are worth talking to.

Tags:

Comments

( 62 comments — Leave a comment )
jkatkina
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC)
How does she even believe the things she's typing? :( I don't get it. Does she think that kinky folks are incapable of keeping their sex lives at home?

On that note, if she's thinking about chatter between coworkers, then does that mean any talk at work of anything having to do with sex is sexual harassment?
fierceawakening
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:38 pm (UTC)
I don't think she does believe what she's typing. I think she likes saying the most ooh ooh PROVOCATIVE! thing she can for fun.

Which is kind of ironic given all her ragging on people who try to be rebellious n' transgressive.

But that's what I think it is. She wants fame for having the most massive ovaries in bloglandia, which she has confused with having (or trying for, anyway) the most viciously thoughtless fingers in bloglandia.
(no subject) - dracothrope - Feb. 26th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 10:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 26th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - alexandraerin - Feb. 26th, 2009 09:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snowdropexplodes.myopenid.com - Feb. 27th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 10:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
miz_evolution
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:36 pm (UTC)
She really crossed t he line there. Obviously, ND has never heard of BLACKMAIL, or VENDETTAS, or other such things where a person who had never mentioned their sex life and work could be in danger of loosing their jobs should their affection for BDSM be known.

I asked her what other sorts of people should not be able to breed either, too.

I'd rather have a kid raised by sexually tolerant people who believed in choice and free will who were into BDSM than one raised by officious assholes who did not believe in such things and attempted to shame those whom did not comply.

Fucking hell, I am annoyed. My day was shitty to start with. This is making it JUST EVEN BETTER!
fierceawakening
Feb. 26th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
Do you remember that whole scandal in the WaPo in 2002? (I bet you might, as you're a DC-ian.) Yeah, that was really... all about sexual harassment, wasn't it?

Gods.

(no subject) - static_hiss - Feb. 26th, 2009 07:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 26th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - miz_evolution - Feb. 26th, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 26th, 2009 08:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lisaquestions - Feb. 27th, 2009 12:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sushis - Feb. 27th, 2009 12:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 27th, 2009 01:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 27th, 2009 01:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 10:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 28th, 2009 06:28 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lisaquestions - Feb. 27th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC) - Expand
jfpbookworm
Feb. 26th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC)
From later in that thread:

Kids are nosy, and I knew where every “secret” thing in my parents’ room was when I was 6.

Now I'm probably reading too much into this, but did her parents ever try to tell her that she shouldn't be snooping in other their room, looking for "secret" things that are none of her business?
fierceawakening
Feb. 26th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
I think different people grow up with different outlooks toward privacy and snooping. I'm not sure why. It's not something I ever did much of, but then again no one in my immediate family really had juicy secrets. I had to learn suddenly and quickly what "privacy" was all about when I realized I was kinky. Part of my parents' discovering my involvement, in fact, came from my coming home from college on break and suddenly and totally uncharacteristically not telling them things when previously I had told them just about every detail of any party or event I went to for any reason.
(no subject) - lilairen - Feb. 26th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 27th, 2009 02:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 27th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snowdropexplodes.myopenid.com - Feb. 27th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lilairen - Feb. 26th, 2009 09:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
ginmar
Feb. 26th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
Um...so how come most of the asshats during the actual sexual harassment tend to be repressed white Xtian dudes? Whereas seems to me you can't tell who's into BDSM unless you bring it up and ask them.

Whatever you're into, it's being an asshole that makes you an asshole. Dur. I'd rather work with a BDSMer who wasn't a selfish narcissist asshole than some...okay, fuck it. Does she/he think that people prance around in leather chaps and shit all the damned time?
fierceawakening
Feb. 26th, 2009 10:47 pm (UTC)
Does she/he think that people prance around in leather chaps and shit all the damned time?

Mine are at the dry cleaners! ;)
(no subject) - ginmar - Feb. 26th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 26th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ginmar - Feb. 26th, 2009 11:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snowdropexplodes.myopenid.com - Feb. 27th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ginmar - Feb. 27th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lilairen - Feb. 26th, 2009 11:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fierceawakening - Feb. 26th, 2009 11:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - miz_evolution - Feb. 27th, 2009 01:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lilairen - Feb. 27th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ginmar - Feb. 26th, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 28th, 2009 06:27 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 10:25 am (UTC) - Expand
roykay
Feb. 27th, 2009 12:16 am (UTC)
Wheneever I've posted it's been deleted, so I'm not bothing at the moment.

>Talking about sex at work isn’t cool, whether you’re straight, gay, into BDSM, or celibate. It’s just not appropriate.

Uh, why? Because people might get uncomfortable, especially people with sexual hangups. People have all kinds of hangups - about politics, religion, you name it. Grow up lady and quit pretending that the world exists to make you comfortable. OR, let ME be the one the world exists to make comfortable. I have the right to insist on anything you do.

>And to be honest, if I were a parent, I’d be concerned if my child’s other parent were into BDSM because I wouldn’t want my child exposed to it.

Uh, exposed to what exactly? Is she saying that she's planning to "expose" her prospective children to everything she does?

>It’s absolutely ridiculous to think you ought to have the right to normalize that kind of behavior in front of children who haven’t got the critical thinking abilities to understand what’s going on.

Uh, no. I mean children are raised to endure all kinds of social, political and religious babblings without having the critical thinking abilities to understand them.

>I have, whatever you guys want to claim to the contrary, read women’s writings about being upset and frightened by the treatment they receive.

I have read mens and womens writing about being upset by all kinds of treatment they've receieved. Sometimes I think they are idiots and sometime they have a point. However, one size does not fit all. Get used to it. Some people loved gym class camp and some people hated it. Does that mean the we should abolish gym because some people didn't like the treatment they received?
beandelphiki
Feb. 27th, 2009 12:57 am (UTC)
Hi Trinity. I followed you to your journal here when I found that discussion you're linking, since I was curious to know if you'd posted anything on the topic here as well. (I hope that doesn't seem creepy; you just seem to be everywhere I've been reading lately, and you've been saying things I found very interesting - and sometimes relieving - to read.)

This might be a little silly...but I wanted to address the issue of how someone ends up spanking their cat. Because that was brought up earlier in the thread, and you seemed to be bothered by that. Since you're not, you know, crazy as fuck (I once swore to myself that I'd never get emotionally engaged in a conversation with Delphyne again, and that was after the first time I ever spoke with her)...that bothered me a little.

See, I had this cat. The one in my icon, actually - his name was Callisto. He also liked to be spanked on his sacrum, much like that other poster described. (Don't know if you've ever owned cats, but it's a sensitive/pleasure spot on every cat I've ever owned. I've got another cat who can't STAND to be touched there, and she'll bite you if you try.)

The way you find that sort of thing out is how you find out all the OTHER things you learn about your pets. Like what food they like, if they hate having their ears touched, when they're unhappy or cold, etc. You just observe them, and experiment slightly to see what they like. You observe their body language and vocalizations.

(And I'll point out here that I'm about to pretend that purring is simply a sign of happiness. That's not true, but if I got into all the particulars of how to tell what a cat is feeling, this comment would be twice as long. And it's already long for the topic.)

This cat, he came into our house as a kitten and we raised him on soft petting, like you'd do to all cats. He grew into this massive thing (not really fat, just really, really BIG) who seemed to like it rough. Like, you could pet him and he'd purr. Scratch, he'd purr harder. Give him little love pats, and he'd rub against you. Pat a little harder, and he'd purr really loudly, bodycheck your leg...etc.

Sooner or later, my whole family discovered we could smack him hard enough for it to make a "slapping" sound, and yet, if you stopped, he'd look disappointed. ("But why are the pats gone?!") If he wanted it to stop, he generally made this clear with a pointed Look, and then walked away. I don't believe any of us ever hit him hard enough to damage anything. He got regular check-ups; and until he developed liver disease, he was perfectly healthy.

Of course, we probably experimented a little more with how hard we could pat him than we would with other cats because we knew he was sort of insensitive. (Like, you could pour water over him and he'd just stand there for several seconds before realizing, Hey! I'm wet! Or he'd walk around with food on his face and not know it.) We were a little less concerned with hurting him than we have been with the 6 other cats we own/have owned. We could "rough play" with him much like you would a dog.

I live with my mother and sister. Can't speak for my sister, but I'm 100% positive my mother is NOT a sadist. She practically faints over fuzzy handcuffs.


Debating now whether or not I should post this over there. I'm sure the other poster adores her cat as much as I adore mine. The way I feel about my kitties is as pure as it gets - I wouldn't harm them for anything in the world. But it's really far up the thread at this point, so probably not worth it.
fierceawakening
Feb. 27th, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
Bean --

Thanks for this. I figured it might be something like that, but I've also met someone who was mm shall we say I don't think this person was appropriate about pets? Not like "I spank the dog as a sex thing," but like "She likes to watch our scenes and I spank her too" which just really makes my brain go YEEP NO.

So yeah, just in case it was "spanking isn't a big deeeal, maaaaaan, Fluffy walks into our sceeeeeeeeenes! Lighten up, maaaaaan!" I said "Ugh."
(no subject) - beandelphiki - Feb. 27th, 2009 02:56 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lilairen - Feb. 27th, 2009 04:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 10:17 am (UTC) - Expand
holzman
Feb. 27th, 2009 01:26 am (UTC)
I'll stop comparing her arguments to homophobia when she stops cribbing them from Anita Bryant and Donald Wildmon, and not a moment before.

If the sheet fits, wear it.
fierceawakening
Feb. 27th, 2009 01:45 am (UTC)
I'll stop comparing her arguments to homophobia when she stops cribbing them from Anita Bryant and Donald Wildmon

seriously.
(Deleted comment)
fierceawakening
Feb. 27th, 2009 02:41 am (UTC)
Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'm queer because really the big thing to me isn't gender but BDSM, and hey, I'll do that with any gender or bodytype, because those things aren't what my attraction keys into.

But that probably makes me a fake queer, or something, I bet. Not like the Twoo Lesbians who agonize over woman-lust or the Noble Politickal Wimmin who choose to give their sexual energies to women.
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 27th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC) - Expand
belledame222
Feb. 27th, 2009 10:15 am (UTC)
"And done with this person, I think. That kind of cruelty doesn't come from people who are worth talking to."

oh thank God. I mean, seriously, yeah, she...is your basic waste of pixels if not oxygen, I've thought from way back. she's like a cut-rate Twisty only straight and stupid. I mean...yeah, as a public service, good to know who NOT to trust with any sort of personal information, like, ever (who knows what the hell else she decides you -deserve- in her wisdom?) but I mean, yeah, jeezus, I mean there's masochism and then there's MASOCHISM. i just can't even read that particular bullshit anymore. haven't weaned myself off -all- the gratuitous bullshit ("but Doc, it feels so good when I stop") but it's a start.

"the fuckwits will always be with us."
kawakiisakazuki
Feb. 27th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
And now I would be horrible and mean to compare radical feminism to reactionary puritanism, because *those are only very rare exceptions* and it's terribly *unfair* to *generalise* and so on, and so forth.

Yuck.
miz_evolution
Feb. 27th, 2009 09:21 pm (UTC)
She just came on over to my place to tell me how "heinous" my "suck my strap on in hell" tag was...because, you know, it is so much worse that "kill yourself" and ranting on about how kinky people deserve to be fired and have parental rights terminated and shit like that.

Fucking hell. The nerve.
belledame222
Feb. 28th, 2009 06:25 am (UTC)
god, she's twenty kinds of fail.
erin_c_1978
Feb. 28th, 2009 03:45 am (UTC)
It's really, REALLY pissing me off how Nine Deuce is now saying that of COURSE she didn't mean to say that kinky people should lose their jobs. It's only what she said in so many words! How DARE anyone interpret it that way!

It's the "kill themselves" comment all over again.
fierceawakening
Feb. 28th, 2009 03:52 am (UTC)
She's done that a few times. She didn't mean "go kill yourself" eithrr.

Someday she'll learn that words mean stuff.
(no subject) - belledame222 - Feb. 28th, 2009 06:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lilairen - Feb. 28th, 2009 06:49 am (UTC) - Expand
( 62 comments — Leave a comment )

Profile

pwnage
fierceawakening
Minister of Propaganda for the Decepticon Empire

Latest Month

January 2013
S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Lilia Ahner