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Masturbation, Images, Pornography

pwnage
I felt like this deserved its own post. Snipped from a comment I made here.

Masturbation can often feel rather mechanical to me. [snip]

 I didn't used to fantasize much at all when I masturbated. If I tried, I'd feel overloaded, unsure whether I was There To Imagine or There To Orgasm/Experience Bodily Pleasure. Trying to do both made it impossible for me to do either.

Basically, I'd get turned on by thinking about what sex acts I'd like to do (often as much, or more, SM play than "sex" (I think about D/s-y sex more often now, interestingly)) but then when I went to touch myself I'd be focused only on sensations. Often this was actually a lot less satisfying to me on some levels as fantasizing about sex.

Over a period of time, I actually trained myself to keep the mental images in my head when masturbated. It took a long time.

And made me begin to use my porn in very different ways. Previously I looked at it and would fantasize, but would not actually look at it while I masturbated. I'd go off and do that because I'd gotten excited!

That changed once imagery, in general, became part of masturbation for me. It was interesting. I had a very "Oh, so THAT's why so many men stare at this while masturbating!" moment. :)

(Let me stress to any anti-porners out there who might see this and want to take "she trained herself to respond to porn -- SEE, WOMEN DON'T NATURALLY" out of this that

1. I trained myself to respond to mental images first, and experienced the (pleasant, to me) side effect that I could use porn solo in the same way others did. It wasn't about wanting to use porn.

2. I used porn already anyway. Previously I used it to suggest fantasy scenarios, or used it with partners during sex/play.

3. I still often look at something and then masturbate without looking at it. Or masturbate without looking at anything at any point.)

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
surreality
Jun. 25th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC)
Over a period of time, I actually trained myself to keep the mental images in my head when masturbated. It took a long time.

And made me begin to use my porn in very different ways. Previously I looked at it and would fantasize, but would not actually look at it while I masturbated. I'd go off and do that because I'd gotten excited!


Very ditto.

You could always turn the page or click the next link/etc. and find something that'd completely kill the mood if viewing during. It's easier to mentally edit those parts out when just reflecting on the really yummy ones. What's in my head tends to be sexier anyway, but getting the right brainmeats percolating sometimes needs the inspiration to start off, and it's often a good start.
fierceawakening
Jun. 25th, 2007 04:05 am (UTC)
What's in my head tends to be sexier anyway, but getting the right brainmeats percolating sometimes needs the inspiration to start off, and it's often a good start.

Yes!

I don't get why so many women don't use it, honestly.

Then again it may well be that they do use erotic material, just not porn. Witness the massive popularity of slash and the like among geeky women. :)

I guess I'm not sure why "porn" is considered so different, such a man thing. I mean, I do get (and agree with) some feminist critiques of production conditions and sexism in the choice of what to depict and how. But for me that really was never enough to make me uninterested in general -- I'm a perv, I'm very used to separating the wheat from the chaff, and don't so much mind the winnowing process, to be honest. :)
surreality
Jun. 25th, 2007 04:21 am (UTC)
Generally speaking, the winnowing process is becoming a lost art with a lot of people. There seems to be a trend toward seeking labels and definitions and rigid yes-no creeds these days that is, in a word, troubling. I grasp some of the reasons for its prevalence in today's society and all -- we have a lot more information to process and it just keeps on coming faster and faster -- but while it may be wearying, it also strikes me as being incredibly worthwhile. *grin*

I consider slash and its ilk porn -- it's just not visual porn. *grin* (And most slashfic has its own set of ethical considerations and questionable elements, even if they're of a totally different type.) I had read something about how women are more often tuned to written smut and men to visual; I've seen some circumstantial evidence of it but I wouldn't consider it conclusive. (It would explain why horribly written romance novels sell by the truckload but there's less comparable fiction for guys; more visual erotic content for men as compared to what's produced for a female audience, perhaps.)

I think there's a lot of issues wrapped up in it, too. I think women are probably less likely to talk about masturbation openly unless it's amongst ourselves. I had friends who denied until they were blue in the face that oh no, they never ever ever ever ever did THAT well into their twenties (when I knew damned well they did). Saying, "Yep, I do, and I look at porn before/when I do!" is probably very scary for a lot of people. Male friends of mine are usually just flat out stunned that I'll answer their questions about this like it's no big deal... because to me, it isn't a big deal, but even into their thirties, every other woman they asked stonewalled about the topic.

Hopefully that didn't come out as disjointed as it looks -- sadly, my brain is keyed over to visual for working in Photoshop at the moment, so my written coherence is suffering.
queenlyzard
Jun. 30th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
I have trouble enjoying porn, sexual thoughts, or most anything erotic unless I'm already "in the mood"-- that is, it doesn't work to turn me on. As I mentioned in an earlier comment, I have difficulty reaching and maintaining arousal a lot, even though I can reach orgasm without feeling aroused.

...well, ok, maybe it's a matter of medium. I have run across well-written erotic scenes in books that managed to turn me on even though I wasn't horny already. But most "pornographic" writing doesn't have this effect. Maybe I just have a very limited number of turn-ons.
polyfetishist
Jun. 25th, 2007 11:13 am (UTC)
I used to look at photos of sexually attractive males and females when masturbating. But never have been able to look at scenes depicting action. My own storyline starts wandering away and the picture then becomes an encumbrance.

I did make a stab at training myself to maintain some sort of mental focus during masturbation. I was sure that if I could focus on a single fantasy rather than letting my mind jump around it would be more pleasurable. But never had the discipline.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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fierceawakening
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