Most of us have heard about the various women blogging who are receiving death threats, had personal information like their name and address revealed, or received such threats of outing.  I will not specifically go over who each person I know of is, because I'm sure that I would leave someone out.  In the wake of the Kathy Sierra incident, many women have come forward mentioning the abuse and bullying that they have experienced.  It seems to be crawling out of every worm infested corner of the blogosphere.  And it's wrong. 

Threats terrify.  You may feel so angry at someone, so furious at their point of view or so convinced of their point of view will cause harm to group that you've sworn to protect, that threats seem like the only way to best protect yourself and your interests.  Or, if you're the immature and angry type, making the threats or digging up information may simply seem fun to you.  There's a kind of fascinating, detective work aspect to digging up someone's personal information.  When you find something, you get to feel greatly rewarded, as if you have unearthed a diamond ring in a dumpster.  It may feel rewarding to show that diamond ring to your friends, to the world. 

But it's wrong.  People who hide their personal information online are doing it for a reason.  We all know it's impossible to hide everything, and we all know that it's disgustingly easy for the tech savvy to dig up just about everything about us.  That's why we're relying on a very thin thread of social appropriateness to protect our hidden identities, or to keep our hidden posts and messages visible only to those we agreed to show them to.  We are relying on everyone understanding the rules of the game, and respecting them.  And not everyone does. 

Again, I'm not going to name names, but I'd like to address something to some of those people who are breaking the rules. And that is that I see you and those like you constantly talking about how domination and power over are wrong and harmful to women.  But hanging the threat of outing over someone's head is coercion.  Coercion is a paradigm case of power over, and not only that but a paradigm case of its misuse.*  Even people like me who think that not every form of power over is bad or wrong will agree that coercion is unacceptable.  If you're really committed to limiting or stopping power over being used harm women (and, I would hope, being used to harm anyone at all), then I do not see how you can ever accept the idea that it's proper to coerce one.



* for the thought experiment inclined among my readers, I really don't want this to turn into a philosophical discussion of when and whether coercion can ever be justified.  In the case of an escalating flame war, it clearly is not.